The Original Main of United Arkadia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Poppy with an iron fist, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 11.242 billion demonyms are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 79.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient United Arkadian economy, worth a remarkable 1,720 trillion twitter ratios a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 153,038 twitter ratios, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Nose plugs are the latest United Arkadian fashion accessory, drivers regularly pull over for nonexistent police cars, the volume of paperwork used to complete a single environmental assessment defeats the purpose, and the government mails weekly updates on the new anti-junk mail laws to every citizen. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Arkadia's national animal is the hash slinging slasher, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholics against seedless watermelons.

United Arkadia is ranked 281,856^th in the world and 229^th in Karma for Most Primitive, scoring -362.76 on the Scary Big Number Scale.